5 Questions Minimalists Ask (Plus 45 More!)

Minimalism encourages constant self-inquiry. This self-inquiry can take many forms, but usually boils down to one question: “Why?” Minimalists examine their motivations before making a decision to ensure their actions align with their values. They also look at past decisions to see how they have impacted their present thoughts, habits, and environment. These decisions include how they spend their time, money, attention, and focus and can include:

• shopping
• food
• alcohol
• technology/media
• career
• calendar commitments
• relationships

Over the past five years, as I’ve adopted a minimalist lifestyle, my toolbox of questions has expanded. The five questions below are ones that I constantly ask myself, and I hope that they resonate with you. If you want my full list of 50 questions, you can get it here.

1. Is this the most important thing I could be doing right now?

This question is from Essentialism, one of my favorite books. As a stay-at-home mom, I feel like the time I spend not directly caring for my children can be spent in a variety of ways. Start a load of laundry, check e-mail, cook dinner, call my brother, watch Netflix? When I start to feel overwhelmed by the items on my to-do list, this questions always brings me back to earth and allows me to focus. It also helps me “eat the frog” instead of continuing to procrastinate on an unpleasant task.

2. Can I borrow this from someone, or buy it secondhand?

Mindful inquiry before purchasing physical belongings is an important aspect of minimalism. We are the gatekeepers of our homes. Before anything crosses the threshold of our front door, we should understand its purpose in our lives. But in our instant gratification, same-day delivery culture, we don’t even wait to see whether we can get what we need another way.

A recent example of this: my MOPS group was looking chocolate fountain to use at a meeting focused on pampering and self-care. The first response? Buy one on Amazon! It’s only 30 bucks! But I hit the pause button. What if we looked on Facebook Marketplace and bought one secondhand? Or even better, what if I went to my Buy Nothing group of 1500 members and asked if I could borrow one? Sure enough, someone a few miles away had one I could borrow. We saved money and the cost of the clutter it would create.

So go ahead! Ask your neighbor to borrow more than a cup of sugar. Try borrowing or secondhand shopping, and if it doesn’t work, you can purchase the item knowing that you can lend it out to someone else someday.

3. Do I actually use this or does it reflect my “fantasy self”?

I love the idea of a “fantasy self” described by Francine Jay. How many things do we own that reflects a person that we used to be, or wish that we were? It’s one thing to own a pair of running shoes as you’re beginning to train for a 5K (when you may not feel like a “runner” yet), but it’s another to own things you haven’t touched in months, and that make you feel crappy when you see them because they remind you of a person you aren’t anymore- or never will be.

This question cuts deeper than “Do I love it?” when decluttering. It forces us to look at the difference between our past selves and current selves. Many times we don’t like to think about the space between those selves.

For me, it was the career woman of the past who loved buying dresses and the stay-at-home mom of today who lives in jeans. Letting go of those extra dresses felt like letting go of part of who I was wearing them- someone who financially contributed to my household. I realized that I was putting an unnecessary burden on myself every time I opened my closet door, so I consigned them and embraced my current season of life.

Although every type of clutter has its own weight, decluttering your fantasy self can make you feel so much lighter because you are choosing to accept yourself as you are right now.

4. If I say “yes” to this commitment, what am I saying “no” to?

When we review our calendar and the activities to which we have committed ourselves and our families, it’s important to understand the opportunity cost of those activities. Professor Kevin Wong describes it this way: “Opportunity cost not only takes monetary costs into account but also considers what one had to give up in making a choice.”

For example, if my husband and I decide whether to go out to dinner and a movie or stay in to reheat leftovers and watch Netflix, we factor in not only the financial cost of the dinner, movie tickets, babysitter, and gasoline, but also our time, energy, and attention away from other activities.

We need to understand that when we say “yes” to something that isn’t a “hell yeah!”, the opportunity cost of that activity is time, attention, and focus away from more “hell yeah!” in our lives. These are the activities and relationships where we can make, in Greg McKeown’s words, our “highest possible contribution.”

5. Is this thought serving me?

Self-inquiry is important in all areas of our life, but especially in our thought life. We may not have the ability to minimize the number of thoughts in our heads, but we can recognize our thoughts, detach from them, and inquire about their validity. Our thoughts can be like the physical belonging that we pick up, look at, and ask ourselves, “Is this serving me?” If the answer is no, then we can determine how best to let it go.

Letting go may involve talking to someone about it. Personally, the Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy sessions I’ve had over the past several months have been incredibly helpful. I’ve been able to recognize negative thoughts, emotions, and beliefs associated with painful experiences in my past and reprocess them so that I associate the experiences with empowering messages about myself and see them in a more positive light.

The answer may be as simple as writing the thought out several times on a piece of paper, crossing them out, and replacing it with an affirmation based upon a truer, more self-compassionate thought.

How To Use These Questions

You may notice that these questions make most sense to use “in the moment” – for example, when you’re researching whether to buy something, decluttering your home, talking to someone about a new opportunity, or realize that you’re in a negative thought spiral. But they can also be used during a weekly review where you look at how you are spending the precious resources of money, time, attention, and focus.

If you want to see the full list of 50 questions, don’t forget to check them out here! Comment below with the question that resonated most with you. Or share one of your own!