What Do You Do When the Doorbell Rings? How an Abundance Mindset Can Help You in Your Minimalism Journey

What do you do when the doorbell rings? If you ordered a pizza, you probably open the door with a smile and a growling stomach. But what about an impromptu guest? What about the friend who texts you because she is “in the neighborhood” and wants to stop by? Or when your spouse tells you that your in-laws are coming to visit earlier than expected…like four hours early? After the initial surprise wears off, how do you feel? Are you excited to receive your guest, or do you have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? 

Your reaction to an unexpected visitor may give you some insight into how you can grow in your minimalism journey. Specifically, by shifting from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance, you can move past some of the roadblocks that hold you back.

What is an abundance mindset?

You may think that an abundance mindset would be antithetical to minimalism. Have you seen the abundance of mismatched socks in my dresser drawer? But what I’m talking about is the term coined by Stephen Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. An abundance mindset is “a concept in which a person believes there are enough resources and successes to share with others.” It is a way of looking at the world that is win-win, contrasted with a scarcity mindset, where a person sees everything as a win-lose or zero-sum game. A scarcity mindset says if you get money, success, accolades, or material possessions, that means there is less for me.

Here are three possible reactions to the doorbell ringing and how an abundance mindset can change how we receive unexpected guests and move us further along our minimalism journey. 

Reaction #1: “Where am I going to hide all this crap?”

What do you do when the doorbell rings?
Do you wish that you weren’t there?
Do you wish you had more time to clean
Or more time to prepare?

What do you do when the doorbell rings?
Glance nervously at the door?
While corralling crap in closets
And shoving stuff in drawers?

If you get a sinking feeling in your stomach when there is an unannounced visitor, it may be because your house is a mess. I’m not a stranger to this feeling. As a stay-at-home mom to three-year old and one-year old boys, at any given moment you may see dishes in the sink, crumbs on the floor, or toys on the couch. But if your closets and drawers are already bursting with stuff and you’re frantically shoving more into them when someone is on their way over, you need to evaluate how your excess material possessions are causing you stress and preventing you from being able to fully enjoy your relationships.

There are many excellent resources out there about decluttering, but an abundance mindset can make the experience more intentional than just “clearing clutter.”

Giving. Once you decide what you want to get rid of, you can throw it away, recycle it, donate it, or sell it. There’s nothing wrong with selling items, but I find that it’s easy to get hung up on what you paid for something or what it’s “worth” and procrastinate on getting it out of your house. “Just in case” rears its ugly head and we hold onto items from a place of scarcity and stubbornness. 

As Jen Sincero says in her book You are a Badass at Making Money, “Give comes from abundance, get comes from lack.” Or in this case, “keep” comes from lack. If you approach decluttering with an open heart and the intention to give something to someone who needs it more than you do, it doesn’t matter what you initially paid for it. The “worth” of the item is the enjoyment and use that someone else will get from it. 

Gratitude. Gratitude and abundance have a cyclical relationship. When you are truly grateful for what you have and focus on this gratitude, your life becomes more abundant. When abundance appears, you are grateful to receive it. I love this quote from Tony Robbins, “When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” If you are grateful for what you have – your relationships, your health, food, shelter, material comforts, opportunities, etc. – it becomes easier to let go of the things that are no longer serving you. Giving to others from a grateful heart is the best way to gain clarity on what is most important to you and invite abundance into your life. 

Reaction #2: “I’m not at home anyway. Come to think of it, I’m never home.”

What do you do when the doorbell rings?
Are you there to receive your guest?
Or is your calendar crammed and schedule stuffed
Reflecting your every “yes”?

If you’re not at home to receive your unexpected guest, you may be bummed or you may breathe a sigh of relief because your house is a mess (see Reaction #1). Or maybe you’re so burnt out from constant commitments and obligations that you don’t feel like you have the time or energy to visit with someone. Either way, your calendar is a reflection of your priorities and when you’re constantly going from one activity to the next, you don’t have the margin to receive the blessings that come from the unexpected.

When you live in scarcity mindset, you live with fear of missing out rather than joy of missing out. Abundance mindset recognizes that opportunities are all around us and that there are other people who are able to do the things you think you “should” or “have” to do. Leave white space on your calendar and be ready to receive blessings and opportunities with grateful expectation. 

Reaction #3: “How am I supposed to receive a guest when I don’t have enough (fill in the blank)?”

What do you do when the doorbell rings?
Do you feel like you’re not enough?
Do you feel you have nothing left to give
While you suffocate in stuff?

I recently read a book to my three-year old called The Doorbell Rang by Pat Hutchins. If you notice similarities in the title, it was the inspiration for me writing this piece. In the book, Mom makes a dozen of Grandma’s famous cookies for her two children, Victoria and Sam. For you math whizzes out there, that’s six cookies a piece. That’s a pretty sweet deal, until the doorbell rings and two friends show up. Now Victoria and Sam and their friends have three cookies a piece. They’re all ready to eat them until – you guessed it – the doorbell rings. This happens a few more times, until finally there are twelve children around the table with one cookie a piece. Then the doorbell rings. And rings again. The children stare at their cookies.

Maybe you feel that you aren’t enough, or don’t have anything to give, and the thought of answering the door for an unexpected guest is like staring at your last cookie. Or you’re staring at your one cookie and feel like the person on the other side of the door will judge you for only having one. Scarcity compares, abundance shares. If your thoughts are filled with lack and comparison, you hyper-focus on what you don’t have, feel insecure about what you do have, and crave more of what you don’t need to keep up with the Joneses. Conversely, as Covey explains, abundance mindset “flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security” and “opens possibilities.”

So before you assume that the person at the door is there to take your last remaining cookie, realize that when you think from a place of abundance, abundance is waiting to greet you. By replacing thoughts of lack and comparison with those of abundance and worthiness, you can be grateful for what you have, give to others freely, and be excited about the opportunities waiting at your door. At the end of the story, Mom opens the door to find none other than Grandma with an enormous tray of cookies, more than enough for everyone to share. 

What if when the doorbell rang
You were no longer filled with dread?
You no longer saw it as a burden
But as a gift instead?

What if you weren’t frozen in fear
Or weighted down by worry?
What if you said “no”, what if you went slow
And weren’t always in a hurry?

What if the visitor waiting there
Patiently ringing your bell
Was your freedom and abundant joy
There to wish you well?

Eliminate the inessential
And believe that less is more
And receive with love and gratitude
Whatever’s at your door