I recently read Marie Kondo’s best-selling book, The Life- Changing Magic of Tidying Up. In the book she goes step by step through the process of tidying, starting with clothes and then moving onto books, paper, komono (miscellany), and finally things with sentimental value. She recommends waiting until the end of the process to decide upon sentimental items because they are, in her opinion, the hardest to discard.
I don’t consider myself a sentimental person, however, I realized that there were some items that I have been ignoring in my decluttering efforts because I wasn’t ready to make a decision on whether to keep them or not. One of these items was my high school yearbook.
I graduated high school 20 years ago, and in that time have looked at my yearbook a handful of times. While I’ve donated or discarded countless other items as soon as I didn’t need them anymore, my yearbook continued to collect dust on the shelf. Why?
According to Kondo, “When we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.” Which was it for me? Did I have an attachment to my past found in high school memories, or did I feel like the yearbook was just something I was “supposed to” keep around because that’s what our culture tells us?
When I actually looked at the yearbook page by page, I was faced with some surprises and some difficult truths. The first surprise was that most of the people who signed my yearbook were not my close friends, people I wouldn’t be able to pick out on the street if I saw them today. Wasn’t that the point of a yearbook? To fondly remember the people who made it a special time? All this time the yearbook sat on the shelf and I thought it symbolized my closest friendships, but that wasn’t the case at all.
As I looked through the articles, pages of sports teams and various clubs, all of my teenage insecurities came flooding back. The yearbook was written mainly from the perspective of people who were popular and athletic, and I was neither of those. I did well academically and participated in marching band throughout high school, and while I have no regrets about how I spent my high school years, it was a time where I felt less than, not enough. Not pretty/athletic/talented/smart/funny/cool enough. In a graduating class of over 600 people, it’s easy to feel that way because inevitably someone else is more talented than you in any given area. Perhaps that’s why until my 30’s, I always felt like I was striving, trying to be “better” but someone else’s idea of better, with acceptance just around the corner but never truly attained.
Without realizing it, my yearbook had become an anchor to a part of my past I didn’t particularly like. And while it doesn’t take up much physical space, how much emotional space could be created by getting rid of it?
Kondo writes, “By handling each sentimental item and deciding what you discard, you process your past. If you just stow these things away in a drawer or cardboard box, before you realize it, your past will become a weight that holds you back and keeps you from living in the here and now. To put your things in order means to put your past in order, too. It’s like resetting your life and settling your accounts so that you can take the next steps forward.”
While I didn’t toss my yearbook in the trash outright, I scanned the few pages that were important to me and threw away the rest. I give you permission to do the same, not just for your yearbook, but for any item that you own.
I agree with Kondo that the items we have in our homes should reflect the person we are (or want to be) and the values that we hold. As she writes, “The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.” As I make intentional decisions about the things that I keep and what I let go, I am able to live a life aligned with my values and my truest, highest self. And that is one of the greatest freedoms of all.
If you want help deciding what to let go of (including sentimental items like yearbooks), check out these 50 Questions Minimalists Ask.
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Thank you for writing this. I was just going through old scrapbooks and yearbooks yesterday and pondering what to do with them. High school was not a place with my happiest memories and I have let go of all yearbooks except my senior year. I think I’ll do what you did and scan a few pages and toss the rest.
Hi Lori! Thanks for your comment. I’ve also been scanning all my pre-smartphone photos and have come across a lot from high school and college. It’s been interesting deciding which ones I actually want to scan, since I don’t keep in touch with many of the people anymore!
YES! Holding on to those “precious” high school memories aren’t all that precious once you start thinking about them! I recently attended a Marie Kondo program at our local library and my takeaway was to go home and roll up all my clothes in drawers, on end, like sushi! It makes me happy every time I open my drawer now: anything and everything I could possibly need is in there, ready to grab without rifling through a pile. There are many lessons and moments of clarity that can be gleaned from that book.
Thanks for sharing!
Hi Carol! I’ve started rolling up my clothes and need to be better about doing it consistently. Sometimes I just feel like throwing them in the drawer but I also feel better seeing them look so visually appealing. I’m now reading Spark Joy to see if I can glean some additional knowledge. Thanks again for your comment!
Great blog! Thank you for writing your perspective. I am familiar with Kondo & her work. About a decade ago I took the challenge of paring down all personal possessions to 100. Harder than it sounds- much much harder. (BTW, this didn’t include clothes or toiletries) -so I was able to do it. It took almost half a year to declutter, but what a great feeling! Moving is so much easier. For reasons unknown, I held onto a couple yearbooks. Several years ago I had actually decided to discard my yearbooks – but I saw a want-ad in a ‘Senior Beacon’ Newspaper from my mom-in-law’s senior center that offered cash for yearbooks. Encouraged by this, I contacted the ad writer asking about the arrangement. As promised, I did receive the payment. I shipped off the yearbooks. Fast forward to a few years later. As I was perusing Classmates.com, I was quite surprised to see my yearbook scanned on the site representing my high school class! How did I know it was mine? The inscriptions by friends, teachers, acquaintances, etc. Wow- I was both amused, but slightly taken aback. So, just wondering.. has anyone else had an experience like this? Thanks!
Hi Belinda! Thanks for sharing. It didn’t even occur to me to donate or sell my yearbook, but I can see the value! I would also be very interesting to hear others’ experiences with this. Also, congratulations to you for paring down your belongings. I like that Kondo makes it clear that it doesn’t have to be completed in one day or a weekend. I think the hardest part is sticking with whatever deadline I set for myself. Usually I try to sell something first if I think I can, give it a week, and then donate it through a Freecycle or Buy Nothing Facebook group, or a charitable organization. It’s funny how easy it is to bring things into our home but not so easy to get them out.