I live in the suburbs of Washington DC, known for having some of the worst drivers in the nation. Over the last few years, I’ve noticed an increase in vehicles with the bumper sticker “Please Be Patient: Student Driver.” This is not surprising. Impatience on the roads causes people to engage in aggressive behaviors such as following too close, cutting people off, or honking the horn if the person doesn’t accelerate a half a second after the light turns green. Apparently a bright yellow bumper sticker is needed to encourage people to literally “steer clear” of inexperienced drivers.
In his book Essentialism, Greg McKeown uses the analogy of a driver following too close to the car in front of them to describe why margin, or what he calls buffer, in our lives is so important. In his words, a buffer is “something that prevents two things from coming into contact and harming each other.” If the car in front of you stops suddenly and you don’t have enough buffer, it’s much more likely that you’ll get in an accident. Buffer in our lives allows us to “reduce the friction of executing the essential.” Let’s look at three ways that margin can help us live more productive, less-stressful lives.
Daily Tasks
According to McKeown, if you’ve ever underestimated the amount of time that something will take, you’ve fallen victim to the “planning fallacy.” Even with the knowledge that the same task or similar tasks we’ve done in the past have taken longer to complete than we planned, we still think that somehow, this time will be different.
I fall victim to the planning fallacy when it comes to meal preparation. I have a very small window during the day when both kids are napping when I like to cook (so I can make sure no one is beelining toward a hot skillet), but I underestimate the amount of time required to peel and chop veggies, trim cuts of meat, or measure out other ingredients. The solution? Since I never know how long the nap window will be, I can prep all the ingredients in advance or pick simpler meals, so I’m not stressed out about finishing in time.
Another option is to review your to-do list and pick out 2-3 items that are absolutely essential to complete that day. Then build in extra time to complete them. McKeown recommends adding a 50 percent buffer to anticipate the unexpected. For most people, this seems like an unrealistic luxury. For a task that takes an hour, could you really plan for an additional 30 minutes? But perhaps the better question to ask is, why can’t we make time for what we say is most important to us?
Getting From Here To There
Growing up, my brother and I had piano lessons once a week. I remember my mom chiding us because we weren’t in the car on time. She always said, “5:00 is the time we should be pulling out of the driveway, not getting in the car to leave!” Now with two small children of my own, it seems like a Herculean task to get them out the door with shoes, coats, hats, diaper bag, purse, and car seats. Add in the unpredictability of traffic and it’s a wonder we get anywhere.
Although it is challenging, I try to get everyone out the door at least 10 minutes early (depending on my estimated arrival time) and enjoy sitting in the car listening to music if we get to our destination a bit early. This also ensures that I am a more patient driver and model this behavior to my children. It requires discipline and forethought to prepare everything before we actually get into the car, but the feeling when I arrive at our destination a few minutes early is well worth it.
Our Calendars
When we try to fit more tasks, activities, and commitments into an already full schedule, the result is that we can’t accomodate the unexpected. If we are always laser-focused on getting from point A to B, we don’t have time to explore or be curious. We don’t have time to help a stranger who drops their bags of groceries in the parking lot. We don’t have time to help a friend whose baby comes early or has an unexpected death in the family by cooking her dinner or watching her kids.
But what if instead of constantly telling our kids, “C’mon, let’s go, we’re running late” we were able to marvel at the leaf they picked up in the driveway? What if having space to breathe in our everyday, mundane lives allowed us to truly see others around us and listen to what they had to say? While busyness remains the default in our culture, McKeown explains that an Essentialist carefully guards their calendars and sets boundaries by design, so that they are not set by default by someone else.
Find More Margin Today
If you find yourself rushing from place to place, constantly feeling behind and unable to meet the expectations that you’ve set for yourself or others have set for you, it may be time to take a disciplined approach to finding more margin in your life. While it requires a realistic assessment of your priorities and what you can accomplish each day, planning, preparation, and resisting the social pressure to keep adding more to our plates, the benefits are well worth it.
I created my free resource 50 Questions Minimalists Ask to help you clear the clutter from your homes, calendars, and heads and live with more margin. You can get it here!
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