The following is a guest post from Mollie Donghia from This Evergreen Home.
You may have gotten quite successful at decluttering your home of the unneeded “things”, where you’ve learned to hang onto what adds value and reduce the rest. If you have, you’ve likely seen the peace that results from owning less and having fewer items to manage.
But decluttering your home is only one way to create meaningful life change. I believe that even more importantly, we need to declutter our souls, too.
Have you ever stopped to consider what kind of mental clutter has built up inside of you? I’m talking about the clutter that weighs you down physically, emotionally, and spiritually and that gets in the way of doing what matters most.
For me, this takes the form of anxiety and letting go of control. For others it may be feeling stressed, burdened by relationships, or generally overwhelmed with life.
We all desire to become the healthiest version of ourselves, but sometimes we’re buried underneath the internal clutter that prevents us from pursuing meaningful habits and life changes.
Of course I’m not a medical doctor and can only write from my own perspective and insights, but I’d invite you to consider what mental clutter you carry with you and as you continue to read this post, think about what you can do today to make more healthy habits going forward.
The mental clutter you carry
When we consider the word “clutter”, most of us think about the physical mess that items leave if we neglect to have a good organization system.
Piles of clothes that never made it to the closet. Dozens of kids’ toys strewn through every room of the house. Loose papers lining the kitchen table. Even decorative items that fill every inch of counter or wall space.
But I’d argue that the kind of clutter that takes up the most space in our lives is the clutter in our souls. This clutter could be a host of different things…
Regrets from the past.
Unhealthy relationships.
Comparing ourselves to those around us.
Judgements from others that make us feel defeated.
Stories we tell ourselves to cope with the challenges of life.
Unregulated emotions that occur as the result of the stresses of life.
Too many tasks in our day that leave us feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
Over the past several years that I’ve struggled with my own mental clutter, I’ve seen valuable ways to combat these emotions– ways that have allowed me to dig deeper and identify what this clutter is, where it’s coming from, and healthy ways to move forward on my journey.
“Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships and bad habits. It’s anything that does not support your better self.”
— Eleanor Brown
Ways to declutter your soul
- Make time to be still.
A habit I’ve been diligent to keep for the past few years is my morning quiet time. I’ve realized how important it is to have this hour of quietness to myself before the day begins. It allows me to start my day off with a clear focus, as I sit and pray, read, and prepare myself for the day ahead.
Finding that time of day that is undistracting to meditate, pray, journal, or even take a break and relax is one of the healthiest ways I’ve found to clear mental clutter. Quiet time lowers your blood pressure, decreases your heart rate, and increases our awareness of what matters most.
- Limit social media.
Too much consumption of social media can create feelings of comparison and self-doubt, leaving us discontent with who we are or what we have. Taking an occasional break from social media is a way to take a healthy step back from passively watching the lives of others.
I’ve taken regular breaks from Instagram every few months and this allows me to have more realistic expectations with goals, relationships, motherhood, and other important areas of life.
If social media causes you to compare yourself to others in an unhealthy way or leaves you feeling defeated after scrolling, I’d encourage you to take a break for a time and consider who you follow.
- Decide once.
It’s been estimated that the average adult makes more than 35,000 decisions every day. Decision fatigue can cause stress and anxiety as we waffle back and forth trying to make the perfect choice.
Something I’m still learning, but have made great strides in, is this– when you make a decision stick with it. An okay decision with firm resolve is much more powerful than a great decision that you are wishy-washy about. Just decide and don’t look back unless the facts on the ground change significantly.
- Set boundaries.
When we allow unhealthy relationships, busy schedules, or negative thoughts to weigh down our souls, it leaves us feeling exhausted. Learn to say no even to good opportunities so that you can be free to say yes to things that are truly important.
Leaving margin in our weeks has been one of the most helpful habits that we’ve found in this full season of life. We’ve committed to less, but still have plenty of space to serve in ways that matter.
Set up an emotional boundary from the relationships that cause stress or anxiety. Surround yourself with a base of friends and family that add encouragement to your life and give you strength to be there for friends in a more needy season.
- Ask for help.
We can’t do everything and expect to do everything well. We each have our limitations and capacity to take on so much.
Humans thrive when we live in community with one another. When we ask for help from people we trust (a spouse, family member, coworker, friend), we not only allow that person to carry some of our burden, but it also allows us to be more generous as we see how beneficial help from others can be.
- Start small.
Mike and I have learned (sometimes the hard way) that when we want to make a life change, starting small is the best course of action. Starting small skips over the need for a perfect plan, because it enables you to learn as you go.
For example, you want to start exercising on a regular basis but have never stuck with a plan for more than a few weeks. When you start small, you make the habit too easy not to do. Instead of aiming to run 5 miles a day or do a workout so strenuous that it leaves you completely exhausted, start much smaller, I’m talking embarrassingly small…
Run for 1 minute on day 1.
2 minutes on day 2.
3 minutes on day 3.
And so on, until the habit becomes attainable, realistic, and even enjoyable.
Don’t set out to make gigantic lifestyle changes, start with a few healthy choices and master those by making them so easy that you can’t not do them. Find what you can stick with in the long run and I guarantee you’ll have much more success.
Mollie Donghia is a homeschooling mom to four littles who blogs with her husband Mike at This Evergreen Home, where they share their experience with living simply, intentionally, and relationally in this modern world. You can follow along by subscribing to their weekly newsletter.
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