Aspiring to be a “better” person in areas of our lives such as finances, health, and relationships is admirable. Oftentimes, however, we purchase items in the name of improving in these areas and don’t follow through. A common example of this is the treadmill purchased with the intent of walking or running on it every day, that only collects dust bunnies, not miles. We want to be the type of person that walks or runs every day, but it doesn’t match our reality. Despite this, we hold onto the treadmill because selling or donating it is proof that somehow we’ve given up on ourselves. We should be the type of person who walks or runs every day. We feel that someday we will use it, and we resist letting go.
“Should” and “someday” are the main impediments to decluttering our surroundings and minimizing our possessions. In his book Simplify, Joshua Becker from Becoming Minimalist reflects on the peace and freedom he felt cleaning out his home workspace:
“No longer would my work environment feature three bookcases of books that I ‘should have read.’ No longer would my desktop be cluttered with stacks of paper that ‘should be filed properly.’” -Joshua Becker, Simplify
By letting go of “should” and “someday,” we free ourselves in several ways:
1) It’s OK to be who you are, and not who you think you “should” be. I can think of several things that I am holding on to, not because I have used them in the present or recent (or not so recent) past, but because I feel like I should be the type of person that will use them. I did triathlons back in 2004 and 2005. I still have a few bicycling jerseys and shorts, not to mention the bike itself. The last time I rode it? Maybe 2013? I vow to put the clothing in my Goodwill donation bag today and either tune up the bike or sell it by the end of this month. I’d like to be a person who enjoys cycling, but the truth is I just don’t do it.
2) Be specific with your “someday”. I think it’s OK to keep something because you may need it “someday”, if that someday is a somewhat definitive timeframe. For example, we kept my son’s clothes because we were planning to have a baby “someday” (2-3 years after he was born) and it turns out that we will have our new arrival in January 2017.
It may be helpful, however, to think of someone who can use your items in the meantime while you are waiting for your “someday.” We have lent out baby items that my son no longer uses to a friend of mine with a little one (swings, play mats, etc.) so that we clear space in our house, and will get those items back when we have our new baby and her daughter has outgrown them. The same could go for maternity clothes, toys, children’s books, etc.
This isn’t just limited to people with kids, though. Let’s say that you have a book that you want to read, but you already have 2-3 books ahead in your queue. Why not lend it to a friend in the meantime?
The reason “someday” is a slippery slope is because if you talk about needing something under very specific and unlikely circumstances, that are not based in the reality of your recent experiences, then you are just holding onto clutter. I’ve wrestled with whether I should sell or donate some of our serving ware because we rarely entertain. On the rare occasions we do, I’m thankful to have some items (like a chip and dip set, or a glass pitcher for lemonade) but there are so many items that sit in the cupboards for a potential future where we would entertain and sip martinis (hasn’t happened yet!)
By realizing that the things you own but rarely or never use could have value to another person right now, it is easier to part with them and free yourself of clutter.
If you want to experiment with living with less instead of keeping things you think you “should” use, try my 5 Experiments for Simple Living!
Simplify. Find out how.
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