Finding Contentment with Your Home, Even When It’s Not Your Dream

Note: This is a guest post from Mollie Donghia of This Evergreen Home.

Home. There’s no place like it, as Dorothy said. 

For each one of us, home can be seen as many different things. A safe place. A location where our most fond memories are made. A setting to host friends and family. An area of respite after a long day. 

With the advent of social media, we’re able to view other’s lives and how they live with just a simple scroll of the thumb. Sometimes, these images provide me with ideas and inspiration about further projects to do to make my home more enjoyable.

But other times, if I linger over these pictures long enough, I subconsciously feel that if I gained what that person had, I’d be happier.

Comparison is the thief of joy– a famous motto, stated by Theodore Rosevelt, that I’m reminded of often. Viewing our homes in comparison with what others have not only creates a spirit of discontent for what we do have, but it’s also a recipe for restlessness. 

So how do we find contentment with our own homes, without negatively comparing them to what others have? How do we learn to appreciate what we have, even if it’s not our dream home? 

In this post, I’ll provide 7 ways that I’ve personally found to be more content with my home and how to focus on living in the present and not on my long-term wishlist.

Balancing Desire and Reality

My husband, Mike, and I moved into our first home nearly 8 years ago. At the time, we were still fairly new to married life so we had very little material possessions. For the first few years as homeowners, we had rooms that remained empty, waiting for our future children to fill them. We had more space than we really needed for just the two of us, but we were content. 

We gradually made our house a home. Room by room, we excitedly filled them with memories and things we valued, making it a special place to raise our family.

As time went by, I continued to add to my board of Pinterest photos and ideas of what I desired my “dream home” to look like. I idealized homes with large windows, sprawling porches, and ones with charming character. And as I did this, my wishlist of “wants” increased. 

Now, it’s certainly not wrong to have desires and ideas of future goals– sometimes a little motivation is just what we need to keep continuing with a pursuit. 

But when there’s an unhealthy balance between dreaming and being content in the current season of life, there needs to be a mindset shift. 

I’ve come to see that our “dream home” is likely many, many years down the road (if at all), so living with a “grass is always greener on the other side” mentality isn’t a healthy way to view the future. Instead, I’m learning to appreciate the character that our little 1950’s home has and focus on ways that this home serves our family well. 

Being grateful certainly isn’t our primary human response, but when we learn to live with more gratitude for what we have, we can live lives filled with the riches that lay right in front of us, without the constant need for more. 

7 Ways to Find Gratitude with your Home

1. Declutter items that aren’t meaningful anymore. 

When you fill your home with decorations and items that hold meaning, you’re more likely to have less clutter and be more appreciative of your space. Items that no longer serve a purpose should be decluttered (donated, sold, or even thrown away if needed). I’ve learned that I don’t need to cram every inch of my home with “stuff” for it to look cozy and inviting, but rather keep it more simple with items that I love (photos I’ve taken, artwork by my kids, or my collection of indoor plants). 

2. Embrace the surprising benefits of limits. 

When we place limits on ourselves, it’s a way to pull back and allow a desire for something to grow even richer. I usually find much less enjoyment over a random impulse buy than I do over something that I’ve had on my wishlist for a while, but have waited to purchase until I actually needed it (or have saved up to buy it). 

3. Designate one clutter-free zone. 

My home is certainly not a clutter-free space every moment of the day, especially with three young kids running around. But there’s life well lived here and ways to teach them valuable lessons in simplicity. 

One way I’ve found to appreciate my home more is by designating at least one clutter-free zone (a spot that is easily and quickly tidied throughout the day). For me, it’s my kitchen sink. Dirty dishes are washed and put away and the space is free from clutter. The rest of the kitchen might be a mess, but having this one clutter-free zone is a simple way to have less stress and enjoy my home more. 

4. Don’t view your items as temporary.

When we view our items as temporary (thinking that we’ll eventually replace them), they automatically lose value. My current home could very well be our forever home, so learning to take care of what I have even if it’s not perfect or my dream home is a way to practice gratitude and not constantly have my sights on something better. 

5. Reflect on what you love about your home.

Ask yourself, “What do I love about my home that I would miss if I didn’t have?”

For me, it’s my large windows that allow beautiful light to stream in throughout the day, our yard with room for the kids to run, and our sidewalks that allow for so much accessibility to parks, playgrounds, coffee shops, and the library. 

I still have areas in our home that I wish were different, but focusing on the positives is a healthier way to move forward. 

6. Bring every room back to “ready” before the day is through. 

One of the simple habits we’ve found to be quite helpful is to bring each room back to “ready” before the day is through. This means having the kids clean up their spaces while we tidy up the kitchen, fold the day’s load of laundry, and put every item back in it’s home. It’s a much better start to the morning when we’re not walking into yesterday’s mess still on the floor and counters. 

7. Make good use of the space you have. 

Even though there are aspects of my home that I’d like to be different, making good use of the space we have is a more helpful (and fun) way to live. 

We didn’t have a great area for our kids to play independently, so as we finished our basement we turned it into a space where they could create, read, and run around. 

A few years ago, my husband built a swingset in our backyard that is now a favorite place where the kids play and neighbor kids are welcomed. 

Our breezeway was an unheated room that didn’t see much use, yet had beautiful large windows and potential to be a great space. In the past few years, we’ve added heat, took off the door that separates it from the rest of the house, built shelves to hold lots of plants, and it’s become one of my favorite rooms in the house (currently a homeschool room and playroom).