I’ve been thinking a lot about choices lately. Our lives are the summation of the choices we make, and as much as I’d like to say that I am always intentional and mindful about mine, that is definitely not the case. I sometimes parent out of anger. I eat out of frustration. I stare at a screen out of boredom. Many times these choices are a result of a negative choice I made just prior: a choice to yell rather than listen, a choice to inhale food rather than exhale a deep breath, a choice to numb my discomfort rather than to acknowledge and work through it.
In one of my favorite books, Essentialism, Greg McKeown has a lot to say about making deliberate choices:
“We often think of choice as a thing. But a choice is not a thing. Our options may be things, but a choice—a choice is an action. It is not just something we have but something we do. This experience brought me to the liberating realization that while we may not always have control over our options, we always have control over how we choose among them.”
When I feel stuck in a negative mindset or pattern of behavior, I am reminded that while things may feel out of control, I can control my choice in that moment. Not convinced? Try this trick, inspired by the documentary Made for More by Rachel Hollis. Clap your hands once. That fast, you can think differently about the situation. Clap them again. That fast, you can make a different choice. We like to make excuses why it’s hard to make a different choice in a difficult or stressful moment, but the fact is that we can always choose a healthier option instead of one that makes us feel shameful or resentful later on.
When you choose differently, you act differently. When you act differently, you become a different person. Choice by choice, step by step. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says when it comes to changing a mindset, habit, or behavior:
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become…New identities require new evidence. If you keep casting the same votes you’ve always cast, you’re going to get the same results you’ve always had. If nothing changes, nothing is going to change.”
If I tell myself that I am the type of person who cares deeply about my physical health so I can be around to play with my grandchildren someday, it makes it harder to eat junk food or miss a workout.
If I tell myself I’m a writer who wants to share my journey with others and grow an online community of like-minded people, it makes it harder to watch a movie Friday night rather than finish a blog post.
If there is something you want to change, choose different. Be different. There is always another option available, even if it is only surrendering to the situation. It may make you uncomfortable, it may be difficult, but it is there. Choose different. Be different.
Making choices that bring you closer to the person you want to be is not always easy. You need to ask yourself the right questions before you act. Check out my free guide 50 Questions Minimalists Ask, which includes ten questions to live a more intentional life.
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