I was excited to meet up with my best friend for a pedicure to celebrate her birthday. It had been a long day and I was looking forward to relaxing and catching up. As soon as I walked into the salon, the technician pointed to the wall of nail polishes. And when I say “wall”, I mean the whole wall. I felt panic rise in me. How could I make a decision about nail polish among the hundreds of choices? After a day of making decisions on behalf of myself and my kids, figuring out whether I wanted Vixen Red or Bubblegum Pink seemed nearly impossible.
There is a lot of positive value given to choice in Western cultures such as the United States – we want to protect our “freedom to choose” in a democratic society. We don’t want to be limited or told what to do. We want to choose who runs our government, what we eat for dinner, and what nail polish we put on our toes. Like the stuff that surrounds us, we assume that when it comes to choice, more is better.
It is true that initially, having more choices increases our happiness. But, at a certain point, it causes us to feel overwhelmed and makes it more difficult to make a decision. So how do we limit the choices in our life without feeling that our freedom is being stifled or suffering from Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)?
1. Recognize how choice overload and decision fatigue affect your health.
When we are faced with too many choices, we experience what psychologists call choice overload – the “negative psychological, emotional, and behavioral effects of having too many options to choose from.” This is the foundation of what Barry Schwartz coined “the paradox of choice” in his book by the same name: “The fact that some choice is good doesn’t necessarily mean that more choice is better.”
The more choices we have, the more difficult it is to make a decision among these choices which causes anxiety, analysis paralysis, decision avoidance, and disappointment or “buyers remorse” if we feel like we made the wrong decision. All of this contributes to decision fatigue.
Supposedly we make upwards of 35,000 decisions a day – and if you’re a parent or caretaker, this number is higher because you are making decisions on behalf of others. Our decision-making abilities are depleted throughout the day as our energy and focus wane, and we experience decision fatigue. This is why the “What’s for dinner?” question is so painful at 5:00 PM every day – decision fatigue is extremely high at this time. (Takeout, anyone?)
2. Pay attention to the decisions you make every day and experiment with limiting your choices.
Many of us make decisions about the same things every day, but we may not realize how the amount of stuff that we own is contributing to our choice overload and decision fatigue. For example, one of the first things we do is get dressed in the morning. If I go into a closet with 50 shirts, 30 pairs of pants, and 20 pairs of shoes, I am naturally going to have a more complex decision than someone who has 10 shirts, 5 pairs of pants, and 3 pairs of shoes. By experimenting with a limited, or “capsule” wardrobe that fits my current body and lifestyle, I don’t spend time and and decision-making brainpower on what I wear.
The same goes for what I eat, my exercise routine, and even my personal care products. I own one tube of lipstick – I love the color, it looks good with pretty much everything I wear, and it’s one less thing to think about.
I have also limited the choices that my kids have, knowing that as their brains are developing, too many choices can cause them anxiety as well. Their wardrobes are limited, and I also created a menu for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner that I put in a dry-erase sleeve. Instead of saying, “What do you want to eat?” and having them pick from everything in the fridge or pantry, I give them limited choices. Limiting toys and books is another way to reduce the number of decisions kids have to make, while also having the benefit of keeping your home less cluttered.
3. Experiment with “deciding once” to combat decision fatigue.
In her book The Lazy Genius Way, Kendra Adachi outlines one of her thirteen Lazy Genius principles: Decide Once. Adachi writes, “A single, intentional decision relieves your brain of effort, freeing you to think about what matters to you instead of living in a cycle of choosing this and that over and over again.”
Some ways you can “decide once” include creating your own daily uniform, monthly meal plan, or daily chores (for example, I do laundry daily so I don’t have to think about it). Since my kids are being invited to so many classmates’ birthdays, I bought gender-neutral birthday cards in bulk for ages 5 and 7 so I don’t have to buy birthday cards every time we’re invited to a party.
As Adachi writes, “Deciding once doesn’t make you a robot but leaves more time for you to be human.” It frees up our time and energy for what truly matters. And in my opinion, that’s the best kind of happiness boost!
4. Firmly anchor yourself in your “why” to help you be confident in the decisions you make and less likely to compare yourself to others.
Our decision-making energy should be mainly spent on the things that truly matter to us. By anchoring to our “why” and standing firm in our values, we can make decisions with more confidence and stop feeling like we missed out on a better option.
As the holidays approach, the opportunities abound for concerts, light displays, Santa visits, parties, and more. It’s easy to feel like my kids are “missing out” on experiences because I see what other families are doing. But since I know what matters most, we can attend a few events and be satisfied that we will enjoy this season to the fullest.
Choose Less, Feel Better
Choice overload and decision fatigue have a significant impact on our emotional well-being. By decluttering our environment and the activities on our calendar, we can limit our choices and reduce our decisions. “Deciding once” can streamline and simplify our lives so that we can flex our decision-making muscles for more important things. Although it’s a countercultural idea to restrict our choices in a world overflowing with options, as Schwartz explains, “By restricting our options, we will be able to choose less and feel better.”
Want to experiment with simplifying and reducing your decisions? Check out my free Five Experiments for Simple Living Guide!
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Thank you for these “decluttering” blogs..I am a mother of 3 boys, grown. I work,, have 4 grown grandchildren and have been in the past year a caregiver to an older cousin who died on July 4th this year. She had a 5 bedroom 1912 Craftsman home full and I mean FULL. Declutter we did but it left me with anxiety about my own home and decluttering so that others would not need to. your podcasts have helped tremendously with my mind set. I THANK YOU. They are calm informative, and have certainly helped my decluttering process both mind and physical. Look forward to the New Year and your podcasts/blogs..Happy Holidays to you and yours.
Hi Rebecca! Thanks so much for reaching out. I’m sorry to hear about your cousin’s passing. It’s very eye-opening to have to go through someone else’s stuff and while I’m sure it was extremely taxing for you, I’m glad that it encouraged you to declutter your own things. I’m so glad that you are enjoying the podcast! It has been such a fun experience and I feel blessed to inspire and motivate anyone who listens. Thanks again and take care. Sincerely, Emily